On The Hunt For The Seemingly Impossible

Oh, and juat out of curiosity, does this happen to anyone else, or is it just me, ‘cause I know another long-distance friend of mine had this happen to her.  :?

Well, this is where the journey begins, I guess.  Though I guess technically it started way before this, and I am just now ‘starting’ it.  Either way, the writing starts here.

Now, because I’m paranoid, I’m going to be screwing with the names and dates in case I think anybody might catch on.  I will remain completely anonymous, as will the people in my story.  Again, because I’m paranoid.  Don’t worry, I’m working on it.  ;)

Heh, so for now, I’ll call myself Britney.  I’ll call my crush and best friend Alice, and my other best friend, and rival-in-love Allison.

Anyways, I guess I’ll just start explaining myself now.  So I just discovered that I have a crush on my best friend.  Although, why it took me this long to realize it, I will never know.  There were context clues splattered all over the place, and, jesus christ, I even had a lesbian dream with her, and I still didn’t figure it out.  >:I  This is bullshit.

I dunno, I guess I just never really thought about it until recently, I guess.  That’s probably part of the reason, but it still really bugs me that I just noticed.  I mean, maybe if I had come to terms with it earlier then I wouldn’t be in this goddamn mess.

Sigh.  Well, there’s no use for angry-tears now.  I just have to go with the flow, you know, be chill with it and all.

That’s going to be slightly easier than you might think.  I have excellent patients when need be; and right now this needs to be.  I mean, there isn’t anything else TO do.

Well, Alice and I have been friends for a really, really, long time, now right?  We shared everything together, and I mean everything.  We practically lived at each others houses.  But now, with the addition of Allison, things aren’t the same.

Now, I’m not complaining, but it’s the truth of the matter that Allison pretty much does nothing but hang out with Alice.  Before they got together or otherwise.  They always spent so much time with each other.  But back then, so did Alice and I.

Now, however, since they got together and several months previous, I never got to really spend time with Alice.  Either my parents were being parents, or Alice was already doing something with Allison.

Here’s where it gets good, though:  Now that they’re together, Allison does nothing but hang out with her.  Not only that, but whenever she couldn’t hang out in the flesh, she would spend hours upon hours of doing nothing but talking to her over the phone, so even that was stolen from me.

Oh, and not just me, all of our other mutual or not friends.  Allison pretty much forced her to cancel all of her other ‘appointments,’ if you will.  But it’s not like shes using force or anything shes playing the cunning, “I’m your girlfriend, spend time with meeeeeeeeee,” card.  When well used it creates situations like these.

Take note of that, it might serve you well later on.

Either way, I’m stuck in my rut, and they’re all busy having incredibly sloppy make-outs.  Yeah, they do that a lot from what I can tell.

Eh, so despite the incredibly stupid and dramatic thing I’ve got myself in life is pretty normal.  It’s just that goddamn crush.

Seriously, it could have been anyone.  My other friend, some random guy who goes to our school.  But no—it had to be my bestie who is already taken, goddammit.

Seriously, I’m already practically smothered in shit, over here.  This is just the beautiful shitty icing on the incredibly shitty cake.

I can only wish it was fucking christmas up in here.

Adieu for now, dead, empty, lonely space.  I am sure nobody will read you, but if someone does, then…congrats on reading about my feelings, broski.  :D

Seriously, you deserve a medal for that shit.